Now that this wedding reaffirmation project is over I need to move on to another subject.
I haven't figured out what yet, but as soon as I do I hope you will all visit, read and comment.

Along with planning the food we would serve we had to decide what type of beverages to serve. We don't drink and none of our family or friends do either. So we taste tested every non-alcoholic beverage we could find. My sister introduced us to a muscadine drink from the Post Family Wine Co. that was fantastic. After testing the non-a champagnes and wines we decided on the musadine. It worked out well. We had the white with the cake and the red with the cheese cake which was the grooms cake. We gave everyone a glass and had our toasts.

After posing for the tradition "wedding" pictures we had a short dance. It was lots of fun. Even my mother who is 80 kicked up her heels.

We wanted to share this experience with you in hopes that when the time comes you would consider this memorable event in you lives. If you have any questions or would like more information just ask.

Email me at: mamajudie49@yahoo.com any time.

While I'm on the subject of the wedding party, I'd like to tell you more about what they are wearing and how I came up with the decision to do it this way.

I already told you about Rick's father passing away, who lived in Alabama. So we decided to have the best man and grooms men wear bibbed over hauls to depict this side of the family. The brides maids wore western clothes of their choosing. I'm from Arizona and thought this would depict my side of the family. This also tied into the theme of a "Moc Wedding". To go along with that, we didn't use a real preacher of any kind. We chose one of our good female friends to wear a black robe and perform the ceremony. The ushers were my twin nieces dressed alike in western wear. I even chose a lady friend who was known for talking loud to be the moc mother of the bride. She was to boohoo and wail off and on during the ceremony. Unfortunately she had to back out due to a sick family member.

The ceremony script was written entirely by myself and incorporated traditional vows as well as "Moc" vows made up from things in our lives, either past or present.

This kept the guest in an "oooh and aaah" state all the way through. We also included music during the seating of guests that had very special meaning to us as a couple dating, married, present and future. Again, since this was not your typical ceremony we had unexpected guest participation that kept everyone laughing as well. I can't wait to see the video of all this.

Up to this point I had not thought very much about the reception except for who to ask to be servers, etc. Time was closing in on me so we got together and started planning the reception. My husband initially thought we should have a "meal". I've seen this done, but didn't want to go that way. I've also seen where there was only cake, punch and coffee. I didn't what it to be that way either. So I decided somewhere in the middle. We picked out simple fruit bowls, fruit dips, finger foods, veggy platter with dips and the traditional punch, cake, coffee. Not too fancy and not too plane. It worked out perfect.

I continued to ask family and friends to participate in the event and found everyone very eager to. I located on line the way I wanted my invitations to read and printed it for a friend who has a printing program and asked her to make the invitations for me. They came out fantastic! Each new action I took brought this Reaffirmation Ceremony closer and closer to a reality. My friend said, " I am so happy you asked me! This is going to be a memory I'll treasure".

While looking for the perfect place to hold our event, I discussed many options with family and friends. One of our oldest friends just bought a new house and asked if we would hold it there. She was so excited about the prospect that she started her remodeling process right away. This was another money saving idea that my husband and I felt was the perfect solution. We, of course, helped her every step of the way with her plans. Painting, lighting, walk ways, every thing we could. She felt not only was she getting the privilege of having the event at her home, but that all the work we were doing was going to benefit her for many years to come and we were more than glad to be apart of that.

A few weeks later my daughter held a "shower" for me with friends and family. I was so excited! Our first time around none of this happened. No shower, nothing. So this was over the top for me. The ladies asked me about my dress and I had to say that I hadn't even looked for one yet. I didn't know for sure if we were going traditionally or not.

That sparked the idea of shopping at the bridal shops for their rentals but no one did that here any more. So I checked out the sales. I went to every bridal shop in town. My luck was still on my side. The oldest bridal shop in town was having a sale on their dresses that used to be rentals. I tried on a couple and found the one I wanted. After checking the price, (I knew it would be around $1,000.00) I found the price had been slashed several times until it was down to $250.00! After saying that I wanted it the sales lady advised me that my luck was even greater. "Today, everything in the store is half off sale price". Man, what a gift! Let me show you this dress.

I know the back ground makes it look like it's not white, but let me tell you it is. Pearls, beads, gems, a train that flowed behind me, awesome! And the price was unbeatable. I immediately took it to my daughter's not only to show her, but to leave in her closet so Rick couldn't see it. After I had purchased my dress, I got Rick to rent a tux.

During the process of deciding who and all were going to be in the wedding party I found I had forgotten the flower girl and ring bearer. I started looking on line with my daughter for a flower girl dress for my grand daughter, who is 8, to wear. We found the cutest white dress for her. She looked at the picture and decided she had to have a tiara for her beautiful long hair.

Reaffirmatin Ceremony

Hi, my name is Judy. I recently went through the planning of a Reaffirmation Ceremony for my 20 year anniversary which was quite an experience. You see, I didn't have the traditional large wedding 20 yrs. ago, so when my husband, Rick, proposed to me back in February of 2006 I was shocked, confused and excited. The picture to the right is from the wedding shower given by my daughter, April, along with several of our friends.

I would like to tell you about this experience and the process we went through to make this a memorable event and one of the happiest days ever!

In February of 2006, while going through chemo for colon cancer, my husband proposed to me in front of 150 people, at a convention no less! He made a big speech about how he proposed the first time and how it wasn't romantic or special. SO, now he wanted to do it right, down on one knee, a ring, witnesses, the whole bit.

Wow! Tears were flowing, cheering. The song "Winds Beneath My Wings" was playing! Who could say no to that.

Then he turns to me and says with a huge mischievous grin, "Now you have to plan it." People came up to me all evening wanting to make sure they were on the invitation list.

Now my work had to begin. In April Rick's father became very ill and we traveled to Alabama to see him. It was bad news. He had cancer. Rick was on his last treatment himself and this caused huge emotional trauma. Not only for him but for his entire family. During the trip back home I sat and thought about the "wedding". During the week after arriving home I went to the computer to find out what I could about having an anniversary wedding or as I found out a "Reaffirmation Ceremony". I researched invitations and language to use and etiquette.

30 days later Rick's father died so we made our way back to Alabama for the funeral and on the way back I planned in my head the "ceremony".

I remembered a time way in the past of a wedding shower I attended where the family held a "Moc Wedding" during the shower using family members as the bride and groom and all the wedding party. They switched genders, used vows from each of the bride and grooms lives. Such as nicknames they called each other, places they went together, songs they liked, etc.

Then another funny event came to mind. My family live in Arkansas and went to the airport like a bunch of hick hill billies with signs (with miss spelled words) bibbed over hauls, loud, etc. to meet their newly married daughter and her husband arriving home from their honeymoon. It was hilarious. People were gathering around. They thought it was a "movie" or 't.v." show being filmed and wanted to see what was going on.

I incorporated all those things into my thought process for my "Reaffirmation Ceremony". As soon as I had a general idea I threw it out there for Rick to hear and process. He seemed receptive and went along with every suggestion I made. We spent days discussing this plan and got confused and decided to sit down at the computer and write a "script" and planner.

The first draft of course was missing a lot of things, but it gave us an idea of what we wanted to happen during this "ceremony" and fine tuned it over the next couple months. I discussed each idea with family and friends and asked them if they would participate. After reading the script they were more than happy to be a part of this 20 year Reaffirmation Ceremony.

My sister and her daughter (one of twin girls) do weddings and showers as a part time job already, so I asked if they would make the cakes and the flowers (bouquets, corsages, boutonnieres) and decorations. As well as be participants in the ceremony. Naturally they agreed.

Finances aren't abundant so we had to decide if we wanted a photographer or a video camera. I went on line and checked out the local photographer's and prices and found that was way over our heads. So then I called around and found local video companies to see what their prices were and what kind of packages they had. I found the one I wanted and immediately met with them and found all the information I needed and got the ball rolling. Set dates, times, package, etc.

Continuously tweaking the script I found I still needed a photographer so I mentioned it to a friend who immediately recommended someone he knew that did that on the side. After calling him I found his rate very reasonable! I could have both.